


Helping Hands

by QueenofLit



Category: Daredevil (TV), The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Gen, Genderfluid!Matt, Mentions of albelism, People talking through issues, trans!Steve
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-11-09
Updated: 2015-11-09
Packaged: 2018-04-30 17:43:43
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,266
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5173337
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/QueenofLit/pseuds/QueenofLit
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Matt could feel an old ich under his skin. With Daredevil being tough and beating all kinds of people up and powering through injuries and stitching himself up and generally being the baddest, manliest man around, Matt was finding himself off balance.</p><p>Help, when he asked for it, came from unusual places.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Helping Hands

**Author's Note:**

> Written for the kinkmeme: http://daredevilkink.dreamwidth.org/3230.html?thread=6583710#cmt6583710

After taking down Fisk, Matt had felt... jittery. Off. Something was wrong, something crawling under his skin. It took him until someone treated him like he couldn't open his own doors and followed him all around the courthouse getting all the doors for him for Matt to understand what was happening.

Daredevil was a man's man - went around beating the shit out of people and making the toughest of men pee their pants. He needed to find another outlet for his other side.

He knew what it was - what it was really called, popular names flying around genderfluid chat rooms. But his father had always called it that. He'd come home some days and they'd sit back to front in the living room, watching old movies as his dad brushed his hair.

It was his father's way of coping with the knowledge that Matt didn't have a mother, and likely never would. Entirely different things, he knew that. But it still fulfilled a need Matt wouldn't understand until years later.

Normally it wasn't hard to get - abelist assholes being what they were, Matt was often treated as if he were weaker, lesser, and yes, often that came about in ways of being treated in a stereotypically female way. 

Made it easier - women's clothing was more complicated and he really couldn't find a reason to go out of his way to find a dress cut for his frame and the right color (not to mention matching) to go the crossdressing route. Besides, he hated skirts. 

Foggy noticed (of course he noticed, Foggy always could read him like a book) and asked why he was so jumpy. Matt rubbed the bridge of his nose as he set his glasses aside. He'd promised no more lies, and this was so far less than finding out your best friend was a vigilante. "I'm feeling too masculine these days."

"Oh!" was Foggy's reaction to that statent - a noise of sudden epiphany. "So many things about your quirks make sense now buddy."

Matt looked up, brows furrowed. "What's that supposed to mean?"

"I'll get together some materials for ya bud," Foggy continued on, ignoring the question. "Find some people willing to meet and talk about this - don't worry, we'll -"

"Foggy! Foggy!" Matt interjected, unable to help chuckling a little. "I can use the internet, Foggy, I know what genderfluidity is."

It was silent a moment. "Oh. Well I'll get you my cousin Andy's number anyway, just because. You two can chat about it or not, whatever floats your boat." 

Matt smiled, glad that at least things hadn't fallen apart. "Okay Foggy, I'll call your cousin." 

Karen popped her head in after Foggy left, "Hey Matt, heard about your problem." 

Matt groaned and put his head on the desk. He knew nothing good could come of telling Karen, and it kept being proven. She was increasingly nosey in her self-appointed task of helping him function as a normal human being so he could continue his nightly outings and "not get his dumb ass shot".

"Do you want to go shopping with me today? " Karen asked, ignoring his melodrama. "I need to pick up a few things anyway, and -" 

"No dresses," Matt cut her off before she could suggest it. "Please no dresses." 

"No dresses," Karen agreed much more easily than Matt had thought she would. "But what about fluffy pink pillows?"

So Matt ended up taking home fuzzy pillows and blankets with flowers on them. Karen had pretended they were for her like a pro, and Matt found knowing he had them helped a lot.

Plus, they were really, really soft. And easy to shove under his bed when he didn't need them anymore.

However, he'd still temporarily contemplated letting Karen pick a dress for him while they'd been put shopping. He couldn't get the heavy taste of that thought out of his mouth, so he brought it up in confession, needing the guilt to go away. 

Father Lantom had been more than kind. "Well there's no reason to beat yourself up over a fleeting desire you didn't even spend long thinking of, Matthew." 

"But isn't it a sin, Father?"

"Matthew," Father Lantom sighed. "If there's one thing I've learned in my years, its that people have different levels of faith. One person can take the Bible at its word and continue on from there. Another needs some further study in order to understand certain things. Others still decieve themselves, unwilling to believe something they believe in can be wrong. Then there are the people who take that hurdle and never leap it, able to believe in God's love and divine plan but not in some of the finer points, like homosexuality being a sin. These people don't love God any less, nor are they forever barred from Heaven. They just don't have the ability to adhere to that particular bit." 

The shuffling of robes as Father Lantom leaned forward echoed in the quiet. "I dont know if you've realized, but we have quite the number of gay couples in our church. Now I'm not able to marry these people, as the bible still calls it a sin, but I love them all the same, care for them just the same, and know they're going to heaven. You have to meet people where they're at, and love them as they are. That's what God did when He sent Jesus, after all. So you're genderfluid! Eh, Carla used to be Carlos. When sin entered the earth all nature became corrupt, including humans. Our flesh has needs it wasn't supposed to, fulfilling those needs isn't a crime. We were given the right to choose the moment God put the tree in the garden. So if I need to address you by feminine terms some days, you just let me know." 

Matt had sobbed. Father Lantom had been very gracious about that too. 

He was coping alright but still unbalanced when aliens attacked. After the fight he followed the others back to Avengers Tower, and Steve took one look at him before dragging him towards the elevator. "Pink or purple?" 

"What?" Matt asked.

"Meet us there Nat," Steve called over his shoulder before clarifying. "Nail polish. I find it's most effective at balancing me out. Just name your color. Or we can find a skirt that'll fit."

Matt felt like crying again. "You too?"

There was a heavy tone to Steve's voice as he answered. "Yeah. I honestly think I'd make the transition if I could, but I heal too fast for any operation to stick."

Steve had shared his greatest secret, Matt could share his.

He took off the mask.

"I'm blind," he admitted. "Don't think nail polish would work." 

Steve recovered quickly, Matt had to give him that. "We've got some clear with thick sparkles. I'll put it on and then you can see if you can feel the flecks - if you like it we'll paint your nails with that." 

Yep, definitely in danger of crying. "That's - I -" 

"Don't worry about it."

Which is how Matt found himself spending his evening with Natasha, Pepper, and Steve, drinking wine while watching rom coms, talking about fashion and guys, and getting his nails painted. 

He asked Karen if she'd help him pick out some good colors at the store when he came into work the next day. The sparkles he could feel under his fingertips as he rubbed his nails were immensely calming, and Matt needed to thank Steve for the nail polish bottle in his bedside drawer properly. It really did manage to work wonders.


End file.
